Clubs and cars and kangaroos, oh my!

The week is not even over, and I am already spending endless hours on homework, assignments, projects and various outside stuff. Applying for the internship and filing for the club charter on their own could have kept me busy, but add chem lab homework and typing out lecture notes and writing a speech (which I gave today, was not as bad as I thought it would be) and trying to make a dent in my math handouts I feel like it is finals week all over again. Last night, I left MESA at 9:30pm. It is only the first week of classes, I cannot begin to imagine what finals will be like this year.

 

 

In biology today, our professor made a comment about kangaroos and their ability to perform embryonic diapause (the ability to suspend a fertilized egg and prevent it from continuing development until conditions are right). This seemed unbelievably remarkable to me, so I did some research after class. I discovered that kangaroos cannot do obligate diapause, as was stated by my professor, but they can in fact perform facultative diapause. The former is due to unfavorable conditions being present, in which the mother suspends the embryo to halt development until it is the best time possible for greatest chance of offspring survival. While kangaroos are unable to do this, roe deer are, which I find extraordinary. The latter route refers to a similar process, at least in the way that both are to assist the animal in giving her species a greatest chance of survival by reproducing successfully. However, it is not influenced by climate change, but rather, by the lactation of the mother. If she is lactating, meaning a joey in the case of the kangaroo is nursing, she will interrupt the development of the embryo inside her until there is a place for it to go. This is important because, should her current baby die for whatever reason, she can just pop the one she has in the “fridge” down into the “oven” and start all over again. In fact, female kangaroos are pregnant most of their adult lives!

Roe Deer

We are starting a club. I initially intended it to be a pre-vet, animal science club. I picked up the charter paperwork and had flyers posted two weeks before school started, but my biggest problem was getting an advisor on board. Now, after talking to my current and old bio professors, the plan has morphed. They wanted to get a bio club going anyway, next semester, but since I am so motivated they want to take advantage of me and get things going now. We will have all three biology professors on campus as faculty advisors, which is awesome since they all have such varied backgrounds. One of them, a prof I had a year ago, is hyper and awesome and used to teach at UC Davis so he will be a wonderful asset. 



Cheetahs were my absolute favorite animal as a kiddo.



My bio professor talked about this last year, but for some reason it intrigued me more today than it did before. It seems that cheetahs, whether completely wild in Africa or generations of zoo bred in the US, are genetically identical. My prof explained that this is due to a “bottle neck” of the population of cheetahs about 10,000 years ago. Since I am a creationist and believe the earth is about 6,000 years old, I do not agree with that theory simply because of the time involved. However, I find the fact that cheetahs can be genetically identical even after 6,000 years to be completely mind boggling, especially after getting into all the genetic and reproductive material we have covered since last semester. Apparently this has occurred with elephant seals as well, but not to such an extent. I know the animals came of the arc in pairs, at least the predators, but why did all the others become genetically diverse and the cheetahs did not? And how did the animals, and people for that matter, get genetically diverse after the flood? I know there was some genetic diversity with Noah’s family, since his sons’ three wives were (we assume) not related to the rest of them. But was that enough to form all the different shapes and sizes and colors of the people who populate the earth today? I am going to have so many questions when I get to heaven. Then again, I will most likely be over earthly stuff when I am there, so it probably will not even matter.

Why?

When it comes to the “to stress or not to stress” question, I like to err on the side of stress. As that seems to be my life right now, I might as well embrace it and use it to my advantage. Lately, the topic on my mind has been the inevitable interview question: “Why do you want to be a veterinarian?” Is there a right answer to that? I love animals, that is a given, but there is more to it than that. I want to help animals, and people, too. I want to make a difference, and help people realize how incredible animals can be if we just give them a little time and respect, and treat them with compassion. I want to be a part of the movement that will result in a day where no animal shelter will have to euthanize a healthy, happy animal for space. Where people do not breed or allow breeding out of greed or ignorance. And I want to do this by starting at the younger generations and working backward. People as young as forty or fifty years old grew up in a different culture than we are living in today. The rules with animals were different back then, overpopulation was not an issue. Folks of those ages might be harder to help to realize that the world of animals has changed, but kids, they can see it happening around them. After they see what it truly going on, they will want to change themselves and help change our country’s views of animal husbandry. I want to help show it to them.



Sean and I enjoy walking the pups in the neighborhoods around our apartment.



Sean and I are starting to change our life style, in a slow but good way. We have been writing down on a daily basis what we ate, and have stopped buying many processed foods. Our meals consist of crock pot bean soups instead of ramen, and we have lots of fresh vegetables like broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, lettuce, and kale in the fridge. We are not doing it for a weight loss incentive as much as just to get the garbage out of our systems. No more preservatives, additives, chemicals, and ingredients we cannot pronounce. For now, we are stuck buying much of our food from large chain grocery stores, but more and more we have found local farmers and markets that sell locally grown fresh fruits and veggies which we have been jumping on. Yes, they are a bit more expensive but if we are careful with our budget, plan accordingly and make the food last, we end up spending less and supporting small farmers (which is very important to me). Our ultimate goal is to have a ranch someday where we can have a garden large enough to keep us in green stuff, as well as chickens and cattle that we can raise for meat. I will not be doing the butchering myself, however, as much as Sean thinks we could handle it. I will leave that to the professionals.

(I question I get a lot is, if I love animals so much, why am I not a vegetarian? Well, there are a few reasons for that. I am not a big meat-eater, too lazy. I do not care to pick around bones, cut off fat (I despise fat) or chew and chew and chew just to be able to swallow my food. That being said, if someone gives me some food with meat that is easy to consume I am all for it. Meat tastes good to me. I am not, however, a fan of the way animals are raised for slaughter in our country today. Factory farming is atrocious, simply because of the way they slaughter. I am not naïve enough to believe the animal rights videos that are ten or twenty years old; I realize conditions are strictly regulated but I still am sorry to say I support that in any way. We eat eggs, a lot, and make a point to buy free ranch only or to grab some from friends who have their own chickens. I eat animals because God said we can and even supports it, plus, we are all going to die. I just figure, it will be easier to stomach knowing the animal I am eating lived his days contented and happy, clean and dry with his buddies all around him. When the end comes, he will not even realize what hit him. In the meantime, I do not eat much meat.)

Only lost one plant while we were on vacation. Sadly, one of my favorites but we have a new baby to replace it. It’s a sweet pea.

My dream car, the Kia Soul. We test drove one while we were in Oregon. Don’t know if it was because I didn’t drive, or because it’s the new model with the bigger engine (lower gas mileage, most expensive ticket price) but it was not all I dreamed it would be.

Our two cars, Stan and Chad. Chad is a 2002 Saturn and is Sean’s car, Stan is a 1994 Jeep Grand Cherokee and he is my car. Sean bought Chad when he was fifteen, so he has been in our family for six years. Stan, since we’ve had him for not even three years yet, is the newest addition, a God-send when we were honeymooning in Oregon. Picked him up for a deal, because he was a bit defective. I think that is what gives him his charm. The funniest thing about these two cars is we have never seemed to keep them both running at the same time. We brought the Jeep home, and the Saturn died (electrical issues). Then, the week we got the Saturn running, the Jeep blew a head gasket on the way up the Morongo grade (a treacherous uphill, twisting deal that has taken the lives of many an old putterer). It took a year and a half to save up for the repairs on the Jeep, which we finally accomplished recently. I registered Stan, and within a week Chad was no longer drivable. This time, his major malfunction seems to be the engine mounts. The Saturn had been having some rumbling issues – when we accelerated it was like being in a cargo plane. Then, when driving home one night we were cut off on the highway while going 65 mph. It almost resulted in an accident and scared me half to death; thankfully, the Saturn has good breaks. However, the jolt of the car stopping so hard finished off the engine mounts. It is a strange phenomenon, I think it is God’s sense of humor. The greatest part is that He always makes sure we have at least one car going!  

Miller Family News

Sean

• Sean has been working nearly every single day since we came home from Oregon. His first and only day off so far was this last Sunday, just in time for him to be very, very sick and sleep for about 16 hours straight. He is feeling better now, but I am sure he could have done with some more rest. He is such a hard worker!

• This week, started the 9am – 7pm shift at the Palm Springs station with Symons
• Is continuing his 12-hour shift on Fridays at the Morongo Valley fire department.
• The fire department is very full on Fridays, and under staffed on Mondays and Tuesdays so Sean is thinking about moving his schedule from Friday to 2, 24-hour shifts, Monday and Tuesday.
• If he does that, he will switch to 2, 24-hour shifts at the Symons’s Beaumont station, probably Thursday and Friday. That means, he would have Wednesdays and weekends off, or available to pick up extra shifts at Symons.

 

Kim

• Received scholarship not applied for, was recommended by professors.
• Heard about the Michigan State University: Integrative Biology of Social Behavior, Summer Research Experience for Undergraduates. Got together my CV, personal statement, transcripts, and completed application. Asked my bio and chem professors for letters of recommendation, just waiting on them to be able to submit the application. From May 26^th – July 27^th, animal behavior research internship. Free room and board with a $5000 stipend. Would be wonderful, not only to add to my experience and veterinary school application, but just to get some real life experience in the actual world. 

• Speech professor commented on how many books I had, gave me a COD bag; gave another girl the Hunger Games trilogy. Probably should have waited for his second handout.
• Looking into the National Poultry and Food Distributors Association scholarship. Not sure if I qualify; I am an animal science major, but am not looking to specialize in poultry.

• Chemistry professor said he is willing to write me a letter of recommendation, something he does not usually do. He said he would not write it unless he thought I deserved it. However, he said I will not be able to read it. That makes me somewhat uneasy. He spoke to me about it, though, and I have a feeling it will at least be honest, if not a nice recommendation.
• It has been a few days since I submitted my application via snail mail to Sombrero Ranch, the dude ranch in Colorado. A good back up plan if the internship falls through. Free room and board, not sure if/how much pay is involved. All summer long

Current Event

It’s a short story long, but don’t worry, I have a point!

I like to watch the Big Bang Theory. I realize it’s just a sitcom and not necessarily beneficial to my learning process, and that it is secular which does not help with my walk with the Lord in any way. I justify it by saying the jokes have some material that constitutes higher learning and therefore it is less hurtful to my brain cells than my other favorite show: Spongebob Squarepants.

The main girl character on the show, Penny, played by Kaley Cuoco, seems to have her career taking off in a big way. Her new ventures include a Priceline commercial with William Shatner, as well as a Toyota ad. She seems like a sweet person, so it’s not a bad thing to see her face more often, I suppose.

In my calculus class this morning, my professor asked for someone to read a question out loud for extra credit. The question was about a RAV4, the car Cuoco will be promoting for Toyota. It is one of those situations when you have never heard of something before, you hear it, and then you start seeing it everywhere! Yeah, so as I type this out it seems a lot less funny than when the connection was made in my head five minutes ago, but what can I say. I’ve never been very talented in the joke-telling department.

(Side note: I went up after class to see how I could record my extra credit. Pitiful, I know, but what can I say? Every point counts. Turns out he never intended to supply the reader with physical extra credit, that their (my) participation and satisfaction is the extra credit he alluded to. I would have preferred real extra credit, but I guess that works, too).

It Begins Again

Today is the first day of spring semester.

I got out of my differential calculus class ten minutes late. I was worried about my new math professor, after being blessed with such an energetic, passionate and caring professor last semester for pre-calculus. I consider myself a bit spoiled. My new prof is a frazzled guy, looks younger than he probably is, which might be last 50’s, with a build and demeanor like a retired military man. He seems sincere, which is one of the best qualities I think you can find in a professor. When one of my fellow classmates – who also happens to be a friend – asked a question, he carefully answered it and inquired with her to make sure she understood his explanation. I think the rumors I heard about this professor might be false, or at least, I hope they are.

Later, I will have chemistry lecture followed immediately by chemistry lab. I have the same professor as last semester. The lectures with my chem professor are frustrating as I allow them to be. I have a decent system down, though. I record the lectures because I have trouble understand him at times, which helps when I go back and look at my notes after class. His lecture style is via PowerPoint, and I use my printed copy as reference to make sure I follow which slides he uses and which he does not. (This is important, because the material on the slides he does not use usually is not going to be on the exam). When I’m writing constantly and following meticulously along with the slides, it’s much harder to fall asleep.

Tomorrow is calculus again, then biology lecture and a new class, intercultural communications. Biology is with the same professor I had last semester. He’s a nice guy, mellow and not exactly zealous about his subject. He was initially a researcher, but after being burned out he left that profession and started teaching. Sometimes I wonder if that’s the best choice for educated people who become frustrated with their education, but who am I to say anything about that. I’m not educated yet. The latter is a speech class; I had to pick from two classes that would satisfy my IGETC speech requirement. Since I am shy and therefore not particularly fond of public speaking, the first option, this was my only hope. However, after looking over the syllabus, it seems I will not be able to escape my fears as there will be speeches written and delivered. *sigh*

This cycle repeats over again on Wednesday (calculus, chemistry) and Thursday (calculus, biology, communications), only changing up on Fridays. That final day before the sought-after weekend should be a nice change of pace, with a 9am music class called “History of Roll and Roll”. I cannot see how a class named thus could not be fun. Afterwards, until early evening will be biology lab; if they’re anything like last semester, they will be interesting and reasonably enjoyable.

Twenty-one semester units is a pretty hefty load, especially coming in with a pitiful GPA after fall’s unsuccessful attempt and requiring an “A” in every class to remedy that. Pressure can either be boundless inspiration or a dangerous burden on my path to learning, I just need to figure out how to handle it without cracking beneath its heft.

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.”

Psalm 32:8

I love my Cubby girl, and it seems like the feeling is mutual!

Bye Bye Facebook

I made the mistake of keeping my Facebook account (a.k.a. world's largest distraction) open last semester, only shutting it down during finals week. Well, I'm not going to make that mistake again. I'm going to shut it down today, and Sean said he is going to shut his down as well. It's better that way, and I can still keep in touch with people on here which is nice. :)

Updates, Reader's Digest Version

Visited UC Davis, first day of classes so we were too self-conscious to take any photos. It was shocking to me how many students there were.

Applied to local animal shelter and local Guide Dog school as a volunteer.

Got the spot at Guide Dogs, every Saturday morning until we move.

Application at animal shelter approved, orientation same day/time as classes (Valentine’s Day). Need to work around it. WEDNESDAY UPDATE: Moved the orientation to a nearby shelter, set for January 26^th.

Will be submitting my application to Oregon State. Actually, will not. Not necessary.

Sent email to Joel, horse barn manager at UC Davis, on Thursday of last week. As of yet, no reply. WEDNESDAY UPDATE: Joel emailed me back, said I should contact the animal science advising center to get an application, and that he is looking forward to reading mine.

We spoke to a peer adviser (Sydney), a junior in the animal science department:

Housing – apartments and dorms do not allow pets, which of course we asked about. I asked about the option of the work exchange I had heard about before, from the meeting I’d had with one of the other advisors at the beginning of the summer. She said that applying for a spot in the barns can be difficult; the barn managers need to know who you are. She said it’s especially hard for transfers, impossible even, there need to be special circumstances.

Classes – If I take the easier organic chemistry class, I will only be able to apply to the western US veterinary schools

She advises I take physics at one of the local community colleges

Orientation – there is going to be an orientation day in the summer. They spread it out over two weeks, bringing us in groups of five or six at a time. I will have to fly up there, but if we play our cards right and I go alone it should only be around $100 for a plane ticket. During orientation, Sydney said they will plan at least our fall class schedule, if not the entire schedule. If we don’t get the entire thing planned, I will have to make an appointment and go back later to finish it.

Priority – there is no way to get higher priority through a club or program like at College of the Desert. ACES gives me priority one registration, which has been very nice. She thinks that being in the honors program might give one a higher priority, but she doesn’t think transfers can enter that program. 

Thinking Ahead

My brain will not believe me when I tell it that it is time to sleep. Ugh.  Guess I should write about what is going through my mind; maybe that will help.

School has been out for a couple weeks now, so I am already getting that stressed-induced itch to get going. Since I’m afraid the copy of calculus book I have is outdated, and the chemistry PDF keeps crashing my computer, there really is not any school work that I can do while Sean and I are still up here in Oregon.

That leaves my restless mind to look forward into the future. I have been trolling Student Doctor Network like a fiend, soaking in every ounce of new information I can find. Some of it is helpful, some of it is confusing. The two main topics I have been mulling over are what schools I want to look into, and how I want to write my personal statement.

UC Davis – I am pretty sure I do not want to go to the UC Davis vet school, even though I will be getting my undergrad there. I will probably apply, because of both in state priority and the obvious preference they give their own students, but I am not interested in research and I am not thrilled about the idea of minimal hands on for the first two years. One plus would be we would already be living in Davis, and Sean would not have to switch jobs again. That could become a very big plus, depending on where his career is by then. We will be visiting Davis on Monday, hopefully we can tour the vet school area as well as the main campus.

Oregon State – I love the idea of going to school at Oregon State, even though it literally is ranked the lowest in all of the North American veterinary schools. Somehow that does not deter me; I am not interested in having a prestigious degree, I just want the ability to spay and neuter, to help, to make a difference. I do not know too much about the curriculum at OSU, whether it is more hands on or not in those first couple years. We visited last week for about half an hour. We were in the vet school area I am pretty sure, at least we found the teaching hospital, the cow with the hole in the stomach, and the poultry building.

Western – I am probably the most confused and intrigued with Western University. It is a school in California, so you would think it would have in state priority; however, it is a private veterinary school and therefore gives no state preferences. They call themselves the school without walls, which I find extremely attractive, especially after getting my adventurous side going thinking I could go to vet school in Australia or Grenada. One issue (or non-issue) is that the tuition is $47,000 per year. I do not know if that is normal, or if it is high due to Western being private. If the Army pays for three years, and we carefully save every penny of the stipend, we could make it out of vet school with little to no debt still. A huge plus for me is that they say they are hands on from day one; that is very important to me. I also like that Western is very close to our current home, so we could visit and tour the campus and really get a feel for whether we like it or not. As of now, however, we have never been there.

Then, of course, there is the personal statement. I love to write, but cramming my entire life into 500 words, and trying to make it stand out against a thousand other personal statements just seems overwhelming. Sometimes I think about trying to find the PS I wrote for the Greenleaf Scholarship back in high school, when I was thinking I would get my baby college degree at Copper Mountain. That one was good! I got second place, but that is only because the girl who won was unbeatable. Those were good times, working for hours on that scholarship. My high school English teacher was so inspiring, really made me feel like I could amount to something, someday. I should blame him for these crazy dreams! ;)

I have two years to work on it, so maybe after writing and rewriting it a hundred thousand times and showing it to my professors and anyone else I respect and trust enough to read it, it will turn out okay. In the meantime, better get to writing! 

I just LOVE my little sisters!

"And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him."

Colossians 3:15-17

Emails with the Army

These last few weeks have been strange ones. Due to my unsatisfactory grades this semester, which took my GPA from a 3.8 to a 3.7, which is barely competitive in the US, I started looking at international veterinary colleges. They seem to have an emphasis more on why a person wants to become a vet, instead of their grades. The average GPA for the universities I was looking at (i.e. Murdoch in Perth, Australia and St. George in Grenada) were down around 2.8-3.2 which seems much more reasonable. They put more emphasis on practical work, such as work and volunteer hours. 

I sent in a query to the Army recruiting website for the HPSP program. The next day, I spoke to an Army recruiter on the phone, he was from Tennessee and since I was not home and not expecting his call back, I did not get his name. Anyway, he confirmed that I would be able to attend vet school in Australia as long as the school was AVMA accredited. This got us very excited, especially Lew who seemed to really like the idea of visiting us out there if we went! We looked into getting visas and what it would take to ship Gunther and Cub with us. That’s when I got the email, I am assuming from the original query. It was a shocking disappointment in many senses. 

I was worried when I read her first email; I misunderstood and thought the stipend only lasted the first ten months of school. I found her second email to be much more reassuring; in fact, the stipend is provided for 10 ½ months out of the year (the other 45 days are Army training and I would receive officer pay). She also made it very clear that I would not be able to attend vet school anywhere but in the US or Puerto Rico. I attempted to do some research on the school in Puerto Rico that has an ROTC program, but there is no website that I could find so far. I guess it is not that bad, while it would be amazing to go to school overseas, there is nothing stopping me from doing some training abroad. 

As far as my GPA goes, I will just have to work even more on my grades from now on. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SECOND EMAIL:

“Classification: UNCLASSIFIED

Caveats: NONE

Kim,

Thank you for your prompt response. You were not being misled or

misinformed. Information changes each fiscal year, so as of this fiscal

year (2013), the HPSP scholarship for Veterinary Corps provides a two or

a three years scholarship. You must be a freshman in an AVMA accredited

DVM or VMD program in the US or Puerto Rico to be able to qualify for

the HPSP.

The Stipend is paid for 10 and a half months out of the year, the 45

days left out of that year will be paid as a Second Lieutenant pay. The

Military Service Obligation for HPSP is a year for each year received

the scholarship with a minimum of three years.

An Australian school will not be qualified for the HPSP scholarship even

if it is AVMA accredited; the school has to be on the US soil or Puerto

Rico to be able to receive the scholarship.

If you want to attend an Australian University, you can apply once you

graduate for a direct officer commission as a veterinarian provided you

have met the below professional, licensure, certificates minimum

requirements;

*       Be a U.S. citizen for Regular Army or a permanent resident for

Army Reserve.

*       Direct commissions are available in the Regular Army and Army

Reserve for working veterinarians who are licensed to practice

veterinary medicine    and are graduates of an AVMA accredited

veterinary school in the United States, District of Columbia, Puerto

Rico, or Canada.

*       Foreign graduates may apply if they have a permanent certificate

from the Educational Commission for Foreign Veterinary Graduates (ECFVG)

and hold       a current, unrestricted state license to practice

veterinary medicine.

*       Veterinary students may apply for Active Duty during their last

year of veterinary school.

*       HPSP applicants may apply at any point during veterinary school.

*       Must be less than 42 years of age upon initial appointment for

Active Duty, unless prior service. Reserve applicants must also be less

than age 42    upon initial appointment, but waivers are possible for

older applicants.

*       ROTC cadets who apply for educational delay to attend veterinary

school are eligible to be selected to serve in the Veterinary Corps.

I hope that helped answer your questions. Let me know if you have any

other questions or concerns.

Reiam Alhindy

AMEDD Lead Refinement Specialist

U.S. Army Recruiting Command- Virtual Recruiting Center     

Amedd@usarec.army.mil”

FIRST EMAIL:

“Classification: UNCLASSIFIED

Caveats: FOUO

Kim,

Thank you for your interest in the United States Army Medical Department

(AMEDD)!

Active Duty Veterinary Corps Programs Health Professions Scholarship

Program (HPSP):

Provides a two, or three year scholarship for students enrolled in an

AVMA accredited DVM or VMD program in the US or Puerto Rico. Applicants

must be a U.S. citizen. HPSP provides full tuition, monthly stipend of

$2122 for 10 and one half months and reimbursement of certain academic

fees. Provides Second Lieutenant pay for 45 days during non-active or

active duty training (ADT). Appointed and commissioned as a Second

Lieutenant in the Medical Service Corps while participating in the HPSP

program. Soldier is commissioned as a Veterinary Corps Captain upon

completion of training. Active duty obligation is year for year for each

year receiving the scholarship with a minimum obligation of three years.

Accredited school programs outside the US or its territories do not

qualify for HPSP.

Once you are accepted into an AVMA accredited DVM or VMD program in the

US or Puerto Rico you can then contact us again to further assist you.

Best wishes!

Mrs. Reiam Alhindy

Lead Refinement Specialist

U.S. Army Recruiting Command- Cyber Division     

Amedd@usarec.army.mil”

Babies on the Brain

Sitting here in this basement in Oregon, I am feeling particularly happy. The day was cold but we spent it inside, talking and spending time together, continuing our Star Wars marathon started on New Year’s. I am so happy to be with my mom after being apart for so long. We talk on the phone, of course, but it is not the same. Sometimes it is hard not to begrudge Sean the fact that his parents live so close by. Anyway, for now I will just be happy that I am with my family and safe and warm.

 This is a photo of me and Izzy, my mom's friend's little girl. 

There are a lot of little children around here. My uncles and aunts have children, my cousins have children. My mom lives in a trailer with my two little sisters, so we are staying in her good friend’s basement while we are here. Across from our room a family lives in the downstairs apartment; they have a one year old girl that it just too adorable for words. Not only is she cute, she is quiet and sweet and inquisitive. She does not mind me picking her up and really seems to like Sean.  He, on the other hand, is not so sure.

I snapped this photo-of-a-photo from way back when, down at Cannon Beach with my sisters. 

Sometimes I get to thinking about having kids. Sean and I have been married for two and a half years now, and so far the plan does not include munchkins. I will be finishing at COD in May, and then will start at UC Davis in September. That has me graduating (hopefully) in the spring of 2015. If, and it is a big if, I get accepted to vet school on my first cycle, I will graduate from there in 2019. If I don’t go into the Army, I will have to pursue an internship and then find a job somewhere and work and work and work for years to try to chip away at the mountains of debt. If I do join the Army, I will have four years to pay them back active duty service. That has been “free” around 2023, when I am 31. If everything goes to our silly little human plans. Who knows what God has in store for us!

This is what we woke up to New Year's morning at my aunt's house. 

The reason I listed all that out is because I do not want to have kids and then dump them at a day care center while I go off to work or school. I want to raise my children like my mother raised me: I want to be there for everything. I also want to home school. As a home schooled kid, I plan to home school through middle school and then allow my future kids to choose whether they want to go to high school or not. We will just have to see how that goes.

This is Sean and I practicing trailer life by sleeping in my aunt's trailer with no heat out in the snow. We piled on the blankets and were quite cozy!

We are not taking extraordinary measures, but we are not trying to have children at this time. I trust that the Lord knows exactly what He’s doing, but in my narrow understanding, I do not know how it could work if I did have a child any time between now and when I did not have a school or military obligation to fulfill. And it is not like it is a burden or anything; I guess it is just my womanly wondering. That little question in the back of my mind, pondering.

Sean seems mixed about the whole situation. We talk about everything, everything. When kids are around, he keeps away from them like they have cooties or something. Then, when I tell him my worries about possibly being pregnant (we had a couple scares here and there) he assures me that everything will be fine and we talk about how we would handle it. I know he is going to be the greatest father ever; he is so gentle, so kind, so slow to wrath, unlike myself. That might be my biggest fear, that I would fail my child. That is why I am so glad that at least at this very moment, we do not have to worry about it.